It's been a while.

First off, my apologies to my faithful reader(s) (Thanks Scott!) that I haven't updated the ol' blog in a while. I know I promised to update from Vegas. I know I promised to update after my match. However, I also had my fingers crossed behind my back and according to my representation - who also happens to be my 7 year old daughter - this gets me out of any promise or legally binding agreement.

When I first started this little journey, I figured I would get in to better shape, gain some confidence, and learn a little jiu-jitsu along the way. While I did all that, I learned some other stuff along the way.

Lesson #1: Be prepared.

I showed up to Vegas at 183 pounds, knowing I had 24 hours to get to 177. For the unitinitiated, I cut 7 pounds for the pan-ams so I figured doing it again would be a piece of cake. Never again. If you were in Vegas the weekend of 5-8 and you saw a short Mexican guy running up and down the strip in sweats and a sauna suit, I was that jackass. I swear, that city should have been built on the sun- what kind of place is 80 degrees at 6 in the morning? I ran the strip, went back up to my room and weighed myself again - 179. So with 7 hours to go, I was at 179-which was were I had to be. I wanted a few pounds of leeway, so I hit the pool (heard that chlorine opens up the pores) then came back to my room for 20 minutes of burpees, squats and sprawls. I even ripped all the blankets off my bed, wrapped myself in them and did crunches and pushups. Did I mention I also had the heat turned up all the way? It was EXHAUSTING. But I did manage to keep my smile-like so:



You know what that photo hides? Desperation and frustration. So after wallowing in my own sweat for hours, I weighed in at.......177. I made my desired weight. Apparently, I wasn't the only one that went through the same struggle: Walking into the weigh-ins, I realized I should have bought stock in Pedialyte - everyone was sipping on it like it was the featured drink during Spearmint Rhino's Tuesday afternoon happy hour. I made my weight, came back to my room, and had the greatest dinner I ever had at Blondies in Planet Hollywood.

Lesson #2 Nothing ever runs on time.

I woke up early Saturday morning - eager to get on the mat and and roll. GQ has no set start time, so I showed up at 11am thinking I would get on the mat shortly. NO. I sat around for 2.5 hours before my match. They gave us these BS itineraries which showed the supposed division order. Absolutely NONE of the organizers followed this. The kid divisions, were followed by the women, then more kids, then more women, then midgets, then hobos that were randomly pulled in from outside, then gladiators, more kids, more women, then my division. I warmed up 3 times because they kept teasing my division. Don't get me wrong - I'm no stranger to being teased: I was teased throughout school and girls teased me so I could give them a ride to their boyfriend's house (unbeknownst to me). By the time my match came up, I was ready physically, but mentally, I was exhaused.

Lesson #3: No matter how far ahead you are, there is always disaster around the corner.

I stepped on the mat ready to go- I knew I trained, I knew I trained hard. What I didn't know was:
Lesson #3a-No matter how much weight you cut, someone has always cut more.
I cut my weight and got to the division I was supposed to be 164-177. However, I matched up against a guy that looked like he was pushing 205:



I didn't know what was more intimidating: his physique, or the fact that he had incredible bacne that I could feel through his shirt. I tried to absorb the atmosphere of the arena but the only thing that registered was the utter fear on my girlfriend's face as thoughts of him ripping my head off and defecating down my neck ran through her mind. When Scott and I were gameplanning the night before I told him that if all else failed, I would just shoot for the legs and hoped for the best. Sure enough, we circled and circled, and BAM- I shot:



Holy crap. He was way bigger than me, but in no way was he stronger than me. I shot in on him so strong that I drove both of us to the adjacent mat. They repositioned us again:



and I did it again. We restarted in the middle a 3rd time, I faked the shot and went up and locked in a guillotine. I still can't remember if I had it and gave up to early, or if he pulled out, but somewhere in the scramble he ended up on top of me. I actually was able to briefly sweep him but I left my arm out and got caught in...AN ARMBAR. AGAIN!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was up 4-0 with a minute to go and I lost!! I went from being a dominating winner to this guy's comeback story.

I think it took me so long to post this because I had to get over it. After everything I went through to be there and be so close, it was incredibly frustrating. I know I will compete again but I know I will always want this one back.

I must say that I still consider myself INCREDIBLY lucky: A few of my friends went out to Vegas to support me. Though obviously inebriated, they were incredibly supportive and I heard everything they yelled-every positive thing, every insult to my opponent, everything.

Last training session...

3 days till GQ(!)

Today was the final training day before GQ. At the end of the day, I decided to do the Gi & No-Gi portion of the tournament and sit out the absolute. For those that don't know, the absolute division is an open weight class: This means that Uncle Bob from the McDojo down the street can enter - even if he weighs 430 lbs. Uncle Bob might even draw the 120 lb. representative of the only BJJ school in Somalia...which is bad. I had dreams of winning a "David vs Goliath-esque" battle in the finals then taking my wench home for the worst 20 seconds of her life but decided I wasn't ready- for the division or the 20 seconds.

We covered some throws and sparred. The beauty of BJJ is the sparring - one day you walk out of class feeling like Rickson Gracie and other days you feel like you were violated. Lately, I have felt like the violator more than the violatee: Sweeping, transitions, submissions. I have to admit, I'm feeling good. I am not going in like I did the pan-ams-scared and out of my element. I know I belong on the mat with the guy across from me. When I first started this journey, I had no idea where I would end up. I had visions of my last class being like a hero going away to battle. But I was wrong - barely anyone knew I was going. I wouldn't have it any other way- this sport humbles you....but it makes you a better person. This isn't just a thing I do a couple of days a week- it has become a lifestyle and a part of who I am.

I guess what I am trying to say is that when I get on the mat, I will be looking for the win. If I am down and out-bleeding, hurting, and feeling like its time to quit, there will only be one thing to do: lock stares with my opponent, reach deep inside of my soul, and kick him in the balls as hard as I possibly can.

I'm class all the way, bitches.


Weight: 181 .5
BJJ
2 pounds to go.

What happened???

18 days left...

I can tell you that I haven't updated because I have been busy training, going to the gym or working but the truth is I have been incredibly lazy and as a result have focused more on Dodger baseball and BJJ than anything else. And with less than 3 weeks until the big day, I make no promises.

First the good news: I have lost enough weight that I can cut to get to a lower weight class and not feel like a midget amongst men. I have steadily improved as well- I challenge better grapplers in class and do a lot of research on my own. By the way - If you have any interest on getting better at BJJ, go out and buy Jiu Jitsu University by Saulo Ribeiro. It is to jiu jitsu what "Yertle the Turtle" is to Turtle Stacking (+1 point if you get the reference). My cardio has vastly improved and as a result I don't have to fake as many sprawls as before. My core is getting stronger too - Who knew that cutting back on drinking and fast food while improving my diet was so important? And it feels pretty damn good when someone mentions that I'm not the fat sack of crap I once was.

Now the bad: It's only 18 days until GQ!!! I still have 0 takedown defense. I'm still too fat. But I still don't care....

I have changed my mindset: The best advice I have been given was from one of my instructors: Jesse. He asked how I felt about GQ and I told him that I was just using it as a cheap excuse to go to Vegas. He looked at me, intense as hell, and said: "You need to change your mindset. Don't go all that way for the experience- go over there to kick some ass and win the whole Sh*t". So that is the M.O I have been working with: "Kick ass, win sh*t". I don't feel like I am doing this alone either: My buddy Scott has been improving right along side me and the guys I train with are constantly helping me improve. It feels pretty damn good knowing that the guy on either side of me is bleeding and sweating with the same goal: Win. Thats why we do what we do: We bleed in the gym so that we don't bleed on the mat (Queue the theme from "The Karate Kid").

So, with 18 fun filled and action packed days to go:

184 lbs.
BJJ & GYM

Back to the drawing board

39 days left....

Sometime in the beginning of March, I overheard a couple of guys at my BJJ school talking about the mythical Pan American Jiu Jitsu tournament - the 2nd largest jiu jitsu tournament in the world. If you took a look at my credit reports and past dating experiences, you would know that while I may be a white belt at BJJ I'm a freaking Black Belt in "Stupid Decisions", so I decided to enter.

At the beginning of the month, I noticed that I was close to the limit of 194 lbs. I don't know what was worse- cutting weight or being 195lb and 5 ' 6". So over the course of those last month I have ate really well, drank only water and upped the nutritional content in my diet. I also go to the gym in between days of BJJ, so now I am exercising 5-6 days a week. The results? The day before the tournament, I weighed in at 189 (with a 3 pound gi on) and weighed in at 187 at the tournament. So while I still have 30 pounds to go, I am pretty damn excited about where things are going.

The tournament itself was amazing: over 2400 competitors (!) showed up along with many high level guys. I was there on "White Belt Friday", which was also "Main Event Black Belt Friday". This is when all of us newbs show up and make complete jackasses out of ourselves while the black belts show how beautiful our sport can truly be. There were 10 mats and when your weight class is called you checked into the bullpen (warm-up area) and weighed in. Since my weight and health has spiraled out of control over the last few years, I was in the Medium Heavy (181-194 lbs) weight class and received a doozy of wakeup call: The average guy was in great shape and 5 ' 10 or taller. Apparently, some people do like to keep their weight proportionate to their size, though I still maintain I have yet to receive this memo. Even when I weighed in, the volunteer told me to drop a weight class or two.

After all the pre-game festivities you walk out to your mat. I noticed the size of the crowd, the pounding of my heart, the beads of sweat trickling down my brow. I look over and see the expression on Vanessa's face: a combination of fear and excitement. I could fill your head up with BS about how I "Visualized Victory" and remembered some magical quote my instructor told me, but neither happened. I looked across the mat at an unassuming guy and figured my best shot was to kick him in the nuts and follow that up with a chair shot. Alas, it was not meant to be: We traded positions for two minutes, then this is what followed:



Yes, I lost. No, I don't care. It was incredibly exhilirating and made me want to train even harder.

With a little over a month to go, I am counting on being 165 lbs and ready for Grappler's Quest.

2 Weeks til Pan-Ams...

...and 56 days until Grapplers Quest.



So first off, I must apologize for not updating in a while. There have been many goings on in "Jesse World". First off, I have began to write for an upstart website: http://www.fighttrend.com/. We will be covering all news of the MMA world and hope to eventually grow into a powerhouse in the MMA Journalism community. Also- I am 8-2 in picks for the past 2 UFCs so if you think you are better, hit me up and call me out-I ain't scared of you. I have done a couple of stories as well. Check out my story on King of the Cage Champ Neil "Chaos" Cooke. I train with him (By that I mean he physically trains in the same facility as me but I am no where near his class) and can vouch that this guy is truly a beast and a star in the making.



Also, I have been improving so much on the mat. I no longer look like an epileptic crackhead while rolling...not most of the time, anyways. I can actually stay out of submissions and in some cases, even put up a fight. Hell, I even got my first true submission last week. Much of the credit goes to my fellow teammates (especially Scott)- Everyone is always helpful and willing to help a hapless idiot like myself. Even the aforementioned Neil has schooled me a bit- When there was some confusion this Monday over class time and only one other person and I showed up, I was able to train with the champ - How many people can say they scored a private lesson with a champion? Not many, thats who. When you get on the mat with a high level guy, thats when you see the real difference- How in the hell a man that is 6'4 270 lbs can move that fast, I will never know.



I have become so confident that I have decided to enter the "Pan Jiu Jitsu Championships" at the end of this month right here in sunny So-Cal. Since there is no "incompetent wanna-be" division I will be entering the Friday night tourney consisting of white belts. The main reason I am doing this is so I can get those butterflies out of my stomach before Grapplers Quest in Vegas.



Support has actually been pretty good: My GF is impressed yet scared, my fellow students all give me credit for having the balls to enter, and my dad wonders how long it will take before I get my ass kicked, so all in all I'm pretty excited. I no longer feel overwhelmed by training- I actually get butterflies becasue I'm excited. Good butterflies-like when you find out you are getting a tax return, as opposed to the bad ones you get when you find out said return will be getting forwarded to your ex due to back child support...not that I've ever experienced that type of thing.

Unfortunately, I am about 6-7 lbs from my desired division, so I will be cutting weight for the next two weeks. With my sis in from Ohio until Sunday, I probably have one more day of eating crap food and drinking before I have to buckle down. If not, I can always do the "Beyonce / Cayenne Pepper / Lemonade / Enema" diet that seems to be all the rage these days. So tonight after I take her to dinner and profess it to be "My last bad meal" (until next weeks "last bad meal") I need to regain my focus.

So with T minus 14 days until the Pan-Ams:

Weight: 187 (With gi on)
Nothing but straight BJJ, baby.

No-Gi Wednesday = Fail

80 Days until Grappler's Quest.

I had been lead to believe that it was No-Gi Wednesday and I was excited. I have finally lost enough weight to flaunt my Venum "Chute Boxe" shorts and not look like 10 lbs of dog crap in a 5 lb. bag and it feels great. Unfortunately, I showed up 10 minutes late thanks to the California Highway Patrol (Pay your tags, children) and the first thing I notice from outside are gleaming white gi's running circles around the mat with the vigor of a Klan meeting on Martin Luther King's birthday. Apparently, I was the only douche who didn't get the memo about the gi, so while I looked great I felt like a jackass.

They were kind enough to let me in and after warmups and we started on some armbar drills. As simple as they are I still can't get them right. I'm lucky that the place I train at has so many people that are incredibly patient. I know if I was more experienced and someone like me wanted to roll with, um...me, I would refuse. Or, I would agree and then Oil Check him so he never forgot the experience.

We drilled for a bit, then came the sparring-my favorite part. Though I still get handled, I do feel as if some progress has been made and I may not be as hopeless as previously believed. I get submitted-always. I get up from every roll with scratches and bruises, but with the knowledge that if I keep working I may be able to compete one day and get submitted in a major competition. Another mental note- I need to take care of business before I hit the mat. Yesterday, in a very spirited roll, we had two guys going at it in a battle of epic proportions. Everyone stopped what they were doing to see 2 of our best going at it. Somehow they ended up on top of each other, and in an effort to get his attacker off, the guy on the bottom cut the biggest fart I have ever heard. How he didn't drop a deuce right in the middle of the mat is beyond me-I swear it sounded like someone ran into the room and fired a high caliber machine gun.

Needless to say, I fit right in.


20 Minute Warm Up
1 hr & 15 minutes of BJJ

Manic Monday

82 days until Grappler's Quest

After taking a week off to rest up some nagging injuries, I decided it was time to get back into the ol' dojo. If you have been reading this blog then you know that I trained some months ago and I was dying to go back. I was a nervous wreck as I walked in- Would they think I was just some punk poser trying to fit in? Would they laugh because they broke me once and would try and do it again? Would they notice that my deoderant ran out halfway through and one armpit smelled like Old Spice and the other smelled like Victoria's Secret bodyspray?

Much to my surprise, they recognized me-they asked about my family, my daughter, and my wife. They wondered where I had been and what the hell took me so long to come back. This is the beauty of BJJ: Comraderie, friendship, trust. We exchanged some pleasantries then suited up....and it was just like old times. They took turns beating the hell out of me. They passed me around like a Vegas hooker and I found that my body is just as flexible. We started with working on passing the guard: this is BJJ 101. I discovered that I am pretty damn good at this. I also discovered that I should buy a jockstrap & cup, because my partner brought down his knee on me so hard that my unborn child's IQ dropped ten points as a result. Another discovery- shrink your gi before you go to your first class. Not only did I have to worry about knees to the groin and sweat dripping from my partners forehead into my mouth, but my pants were hanging off my ass and my head kept getting caught inside of my own gi. It was like a hockey fight. Mind you, even if I had a perfect gi and a cup, I still would have been dismantled. The greatest BJJ player of all time is Rickson Gracie and once said the best BJJ quote of all time: "The ground is the ocean, I am the shark, and most people don't even know how to swim.

We moved onto sparring, which while great fun, is an exercise in futility for me-especially on the first day back. The first guy I took on was a vet and very helpful. He was kind enough to explain exactly how he was kicking my ass and walking me through steps on how to avoid it. Jesse being Jesse, I did the complete opposite of everything he explained and he made me pay the price. We switched partners and I came across an old nemesis: The guy who choked me out repeatedly and gleefully at 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu earlier this year. Funny thing about BJJ: Even with 3 weeks of training you are miles ahead of those without. Or those who half-assed training before. I started on my back and tried to keep him from passing my guard, which eventually he did, then we switched. It was a helluva a roll - definitely the hardest fun I have had in a long time. One time, I even managed to sink in a kimura (see the video example) and I had it. I know I had. Then, he did his best Rey Misterio impression and rolled out of it. He took my one moment of glory- I swore I heard Mike Goldberg (The UFC announcer) yell "AND IT IS ALL OVER!!!" . Alas, he took the mount and armbarred me. The we started again, and he did it again. And again.

Then the instructor blew the whistle and it was all over. I ran out of time.

We have class again on Wednesday. No-gi, no less. I can't wait.

Right now, I'm a guppy- I will devote everything to becoming a shark.

BJJ Warmup - 30 Minutes of various cardio exercises.
BJJ - 1.5 Hours