"The road ahead will be an rough one. There will be blood. There will be sweating. There will be the occasional longing to quit. But I will not fall. I will bend....but I will not break."

I repeat this mantra to myself as I look in the mirror every morning and stare in amazement at what used to be a machine. The 6 pack I once had has been replaced by a mound of dough that is my stomach. My once chiseled face has been replaced by something that looks more like a bloodhound than a man. Needless to say...I'm fat.

I am everything I used to resent. You ever walk through the mall and see the short fat guy with the bad shave and raccoon eyes and wonder why that hot chick is walking with him? Thats me.
Once I was at the gym and my Ipod went dead in the middle of a set. Not wanting to get out of the rhythm I was in, I kept my headphones on and kept truckin'. Meanwhile, there were these two good looking (but older) women standing about 3 feet in front of me and I noticed they would glance over on occasion. I knew they were talking about me and since I had headphones on they thought I wasn't even listening. I was trying to make out what they were saying and when I actually did...I began to wish I didn't hear a damn thing:

Girl 1: "Look at this guy"
Girl 2: "Yeah. He's kinda cute"
Girl 1: "Yeah he is...imagine how hot he would be if he wasn't so fat"
Girl 2: "Oh my god-I was thinking the same thing!"
Girl 1: "You were? Let's go fuck ourselves" <--This part may or may not have happened.


Can you believe that sh*t?

AND HERE WE GO!!!!!

"My name is Jesse...and I am looking to get my ass kicked."

To understand what I mean I am going to need to explain:

Currently I am a "svelte" 5'7" & 194 lbs on a steady diet of buffalo wings and energy drinks. I get short of breath when I climb the stairs. My girlfriend challenges me to wrestling matches then lets me gas out before she kicks my ass. Wanna know why I wear slippers? Because I tire out when I bend over to tie my shoes & my burgeoning man-teets somehow somehow fold and pinch themselves in the process.

Like a lot of people I got comfortable- I pulled the woman I had been chasing, got a job where I use brains over brawn and discovered the true beauty of Fatburger @ 2am recommended to me by noted food critic & rapper Ice Cube.

Some may know that my loving mother and personal hero Rosa Manzo died of Pneumonia 5/31/08- at the far too young age of 54. A few weeks before she died we were drinking our usual Friday night Coronas and I asked her what she would do if she could go back and re-live her life. She told me her biggest regret was not playing Basketball when she was able bodied. My mom was 5'4 and could not have weighed more than 130-145 lbs yet she claimed she was a force in the paint. When she died I not only lost a hero but a best friend.

So in her honor, I am going to start chasing down some of the things I always wanted to do but never had the balls to do so. I don't want to look back on my life and think of all the things I could have done. I don't want to remember my 30's as the years I beat "Gears of War 2" on Hardcore difficulty.

First up on the docket: I want to fight one time in a sanctioned MMA Event. What kind of man are you if you have never been in a fight?

Don't get me wrong-I have fought with mixed results. In grade school I got jumped by the Mendoza sisters while getting off the bus on my first day of elementary school( I swear one of those b*tches cracked me in the head with a half drunken bottle of yoo-hoo). My claim to fame in High School was getting jumped by a group of mexican soccer players who hated me for speaking coherent english. So needless to say I know I can take a punch.

Over the next few days I will be updating this with my training regimen & goals. Stay tuned for updates!!


(first post down!!!!)