80 Days until Grappler's Quest.
I had been lead to believe that it was No-Gi Wednesday and I was excited. I have finally lost enough weight to flaunt my Venum "Chute Boxe" shorts and not look like 10 lbs of dog crap in a 5 lb. bag and it feels great. Unfortunately, I showed up 10 minutes late thanks to the California Highway Patrol (Pay your tags, children) and the first thing I notice from outside are gleaming white gi's running circles around the mat with the vigor of a Klan meeting on Martin Luther King's birthday. Apparently, I was the only douche who didn't get the memo about the gi, so while I looked great I felt like a jackass.
They were kind enough to let me in and after warmups and we started on some armbar drills. As simple as they are I still can't get them right. I'm lucky that the place I train at has so many people that are incredibly patient. I know if I was more experienced and someone like me wanted to roll with, um...me, I would refuse. Or, I would agree and then Oil Check him so he never forgot the experience.
We drilled for a bit, then came the sparring-my favorite part. Though I still get handled, I do feel as if some progress has been made and I may not be as hopeless as previously believed. I get submitted-always. I get up from every roll with scratches and bruises, but with the knowledge that if I keep working I may be able to compete one day and get submitted in a major competition. Another mental note- I need to take care of business before I hit the mat. Yesterday, in a very spirited roll, we had two guys going at it in a battle of epic proportions. Everyone stopped what they were doing to see 2 of our best going at it. Somehow they ended up on top of each other, and in an effort to get his attacker off, the guy on the bottom cut the biggest fart I have ever heard. How he didn't drop a deuce right in the middle of the mat is beyond me-I swear it sounded like someone ran into the room and fired a high caliber machine gun.
Needless to say, I fit right in.
20 Minute Warm Up
1 hr & 15 minutes of BJJ
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Manic Monday
82 days until Grappler's Quest
After taking a week off to rest up some nagging injuries, I decided it was time to get back into the ol' dojo. If you have been reading this blog then you know that I trained some months ago and I was dying to go back. I was a nervous wreck as I walked in- Would they think I was just some punk poser trying to fit in? Would they laugh because they broke me once and would try and do it again? Would they notice that my deoderant ran out halfway through and one armpit smelled like Old Spice and the other smelled like Victoria's Secret bodyspray?
Much to my surprise, they recognized me-they asked about my family, my daughter, and my wife. They wondered where I had been and what the hell took me so long to come back. This is the beauty of BJJ: Comraderie, friendship, trust. We exchanged some pleasantries then suited up....and it was just like old times. They took turns beating the hell out of me. They passed me around like a Vegas hooker and I found that my body is just as flexible. We started with working on passing the guard: this is BJJ 101. I discovered that I am pretty damn good at this. I also discovered that I should buy a jockstrap & cup, because my partner brought down his knee on me so hard that my unborn child's IQ dropped ten points as a result. Another discovery- shrink your gi before you go to your first class. Not only did I have to worry about knees to the groin and sweat dripping from my partners forehead into my mouth, but my pants were hanging off my ass and my head kept getting caught inside of my own gi. It was like a hockey fight. Mind you, even if I had a perfect gi and a cup, I still would have been dismantled. The greatest BJJ player of all time is Rickson Gracie and once said the best BJJ quote of all time: "The ground is the ocean, I am the shark, and most people don't even know how to swim.
We moved onto sparring, which while great fun, is an exercise in futility for me-especially on the first day back. The first guy I took on was a vet and very helpful. He was kind enough to explain exactly how he was kicking my ass and walking me through steps on how to avoid it. Jesse being Jesse, I did the complete opposite of everything he explained and he made me pay the price. We switched partners and I came across an old nemesis: The guy who choked me out repeatedly and gleefully at 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu earlier this year. Funny thing about BJJ: Even with 3 weeks of training you are miles ahead of those without. Or those who half-assed training before. I started on my back and tried to keep him from passing my guard, which eventually he did, then we switched. It was a helluva a roll - definitely the hardest fun I have had in a long time. One time, I even managed to sink in a kimura (see the video example) and I had it. I know I had. Then, he did his best Rey Misterio impression and rolled out of it. He took my one moment of glory- I swore I heard Mike Goldberg (The UFC announcer) yell "AND IT IS ALL OVER!!!" . Alas, he took the mount and armbarred me. The we started again, and he did it again. And again.
Then the instructor blew the whistle and it was all over. I ran out of time.
We have class again on Wednesday. No-gi, no less. I can't wait.
Right now, I'm a guppy- I will devote everything to becoming a shark.
BJJ Warmup - 30 Minutes of various cardio exercises.
BJJ - 1.5 Hours
After taking a week off to rest up some nagging injuries, I decided it was time to get back into the ol' dojo. If you have been reading this blog then you know that I trained some months ago and I was dying to go back. I was a nervous wreck as I walked in- Would they think I was just some punk poser trying to fit in? Would they laugh because they broke me once and would try and do it again? Would they notice that my deoderant ran out halfway through and one armpit smelled like Old Spice and the other smelled like Victoria's Secret bodyspray?
Much to my surprise, they recognized me-they asked about my family, my daughter, and my wife. They wondered where I had been and what the hell took me so long to come back. This is the beauty of BJJ: Comraderie, friendship, trust. We exchanged some pleasantries then suited up....and it was just like old times. They took turns beating the hell out of me. They passed me around like a Vegas hooker and I found that my body is just as flexible. We started with working on passing the guard: this is BJJ 101. I discovered that I am pretty damn good at this. I also discovered that I should buy a jockstrap & cup, because my partner brought down his knee on me so hard that my unborn child's IQ dropped ten points as a result. Another discovery- shrink your gi before you go to your first class. Not only did I have to worry about knees to the groin and sweat dripping from my partners forehead into my mouth, but my pants were hanging off my ass and my head kept getting caught inside of my own gi. It was like a hockey fight. Mind you, even if I had a perfect gi and a cup, I still would have been dismantled. The greatest BJJ player of all time is Rickson Gracie and once said the best BJJ quote of all time: "The ground is the ocean, I am the shark, and most people don't even know how to swim.
We moved onto sparring, which while great fun, is an exercise in futility for me-especially on the first day back. The first guy I took on was a vet and very helpful. He was kind enough to explain exactly how he was kicking my ass and walking me through steps on how to avoid it. Jesse being Jesse, I did the complete opposite of everything he explained and he made me pay the price. We switched partners and I came across an old nemesis: The guy who choked me out repeatedly and gleefully at 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu earlier this year. Funny thing about BJJ: Even with 3 weeks of training you are miles ahead of those without. Or those who half-assed training before. I started on my back and tried to keep him from passing my guard, which eventually he did, then we switched. It was a helluva a roll - definitely the hardest fun I have had in a long time. One time, I even managed to sink in a kimura (see the video example) and I had it. I know I had. Then, he did his best Rey Misterio impression and rolled out of it. He took my one moment of glory- I swore I heard Mike Goldberg (The UFC announcer) yell "AND IT IS ALL OVER!!!" . Alas, he took the mount and armbarred me. The we started again, and he did it again. And again.
Then the instructor blew the whistle and it was all over. I ran out of time.
We have class again on Wednesday. No-gi, no less. I can't wait.
Right now, I'm a guppy- I will devote everything to becoming a shark.
BJJ Warmup - 30 Minutes of various cardio exercises.
BJJ - 1.5 Hours
Friday, February 6, 2009
Storm Watch 09
94 Days until GQ
Nothing new in the way of training yesterday - Deadlift, assistant exercises, then collapse in a heap when I get home. I enjoy the looks at the gym when I perform the various "odd" exercises-they look at me like I'm weird and I look at them like I know something that they don't. I can feel myself getting stronger, losing weight, and gaining confidence. The event is 3 months away but I already think about it on a daily basis and feel like I am geting focused. I am excited that I am going to do something that 99% of the world claims they will do but never does-fight not out of fear, but to test myself. It's easy to go into a bar and and pick a fight with a drunk - but when you get into a controlled environment with someone who knows what they are doing its a whole other thing entirely.
All that tough guy stuff aside- My 6 year old daughter is coming over this weekend which makes me incredibly happy. I am convinced that she is the coolest kid ever - She is a self proclaimed Randy Couture & Mark Coleman fan and knows the difference between an armbar and a clothesline. She refuses to watch WWE because it is fake and was just as upset as I was when Rampage lost to Forrest Griffin. She even woke me up one Saturday morning and asked me to put on Rocky 4 and forward it to the training scene. Needless to say, no paternity test would ever be needed - she is all me.
So no training for me this weekend...unless you count inpromptu grappling matches between her and I.
Yesterday:
Dead Lift: 5 x 10 @ 125 lbs.
Saxon Side Bends: 4 x 20 @ 25 lbs. per side
Front Arm Raises: 4 x 10 @ 25 lbs. per side
Nothing new in the way of training yesterday - Deadlift, assistant exercises, then collapse in a heap when I get home. I enjoy the looks at the gym when I perform the various "odd" exercises-they look at me like I'm weird and I look at them like I know something that they don't. I can feel myself getting stronger, losing weight, and gaining confidence. The event is 3 months away but I already think about it on a daily basis and feel like I am geting focused. I am excited that I am going to do something that 99% of the world claims they will do but never does-fight not out of fear, but to test myself. It's easy to go into a bar and and pick a fight with a drunk - but when you get into a controlled environment with someone who knows what they are doing its a whole other thing entirely.
All that tough guy stuff aside- My 6 year old daughter is coming over this weekend which makes me incredibly happy. I am convinced that she is the coolest kid ever - She is a self proclaimed Randy Couture & Mark Coleman fan and knows the difference between an armbar and a clothesline. She refuses to watch WWE because it is fake and was just as upset as I was when Rampage lost to Forrest Griffin. She even woke me up one Saturday morning and asked me to put on Rocky 4 and forward it to the training scene. Needless to say, no paternity test would ever be needed - she is all me.
So no training for me this weekend...unless you count inpromptu grappling matches between her and I.
Yesterday:
Dead Lift: 5 x 10 @ 125 lbs.
Saxon Side Bends: 4 x 20 @ 25 lbs. per side
Front Arm Raises: 4 x 10 @ 25 lbs. per side
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, Monday, Monday...
97 days 'til GQ
Monday is the one day a week where I debate whether this is all worth it.
I don't really mind the squats- While they do suck, I take much pride standing next to a guy that is ripped and watching him struggle with the weight that I warm up with. I don't understand how someone can be 6' 3, 225 lbs and strain to squat 145. I understand that "Teh ladeez luv teh gunz00rz" but isn't balance an important part of the fitness equation?
Back on topic:
I have taken off some of the weight I have been lifting. Not because I am a pansy (well, part of it anyway) but because have began to follow the teachings of Ross Enamait. Ross is seen as a hero in the combat sports world; While the rest of America is trying to sell you a pill, an ab-lounger, or a DVD on losing weight, he preaches one thing: Hard work.
I managed to get ahold of his book "Infinite Intensity" and feel like he is the workout savant I have been looking to emulate for years. His theory is that less weight + more reps + unconventional exercises = stronger warriors.
Anyways, I do my squats, move on to lunges then end my workout with corework. I call it "Core Work" because in the combat sports world if you try and refer to it as "Abs" you may get punched in your baby maker. In this arena, there is no such thing as being "cut" or "having great abs". Biceps size doesn't matter and bodybuilders step on to the mat and get smoked if their ego isn't in check. Also, if you don't feel like throwing up and/or dying after your workout then you obviously haven't worked hard enough.
So, today I am sore. I'm walking like I have been riding a horse for hours but am proud to say that I have lost 8 pounds in the last 3 weeks.
So with 97 days to go:
-8 lbs = 30 more to go.
Squats: 4 sets of 175 lbs.
Lunges: 4 sets of 150 lbs
Front Squats: 4 sets of 75 lbs
Monday is the one day a week where I debate whether this is all worth it.
I don't really mind the squats- While they do suck, I take much pride standing next to a guy that is ripped and watching him struggle with the weight that I warm up with. I don't understand how someone can be 6' 3, 225 lbs and strain to squat 145. I understand that "Teh ladeez luv teh gunz00rz" but isn't balance an important part of the fitness equation?
Back on topic:
I have taken off some of the weight I have been lifting. Not because I am a pansy (well, part of it anyway) but because have began to follow the teachings of Ross Enamait. Ross is seen as a hero in the combat sports world; While the rest of America is trying to sell you a pill, an ab-lounger, or a DVD on losing weight, he preaches one thing: Hard work.
I managed to get ahold of his book "Infinite Intensity" and feel like he is the workout savant I have been looking to emulate for years. His theory is that less weight + more reps + unconventional exercises = stronger warriors.
Anyways, I do my squats, move on to lunges then end my workout with corework. I call it "Core Work" because in the combat sports world if you try and refer to it as "Abs" you may get punched in your baby maker. In this arena, there is no such thing as being "cut" or "having great abs". Biceps size doesn't matter and bodybuilders step on to the mat and get smoked if their ego isn't in check. Also, if you don't feel like throwing up and/or dying after your workout then you obviously haven't worked hard enough.
So, today I am sore. I'm walking like I have been riding a horse for hours but am proud to say that I have lost 8 pounds in the last 3 weeks.
So with 97 days to go:
-8 lbs = 30 more to go.
Squats: 4 sets of 175 lbs.
Lunges: 4 sets of 150 lbs
Front Squats: 4 sets of 75 lbs
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday Redux
98 days til GQ....
I woke up on Saturday with the best of intentions- I was going to clean up, mow the lawn, then hit the gym for some light bag work. As it turned out, I sat around playing Xbox and eating hotlinks.... Saturday night was even worse. We watched GSP destroy BJ Penn then drank, ate Doritos and played Rock Band in a drunken stupor. Scientists agree that "Eye of the Tiger" is the most beautiful song ever made but when it is sang by an inebriated man it is 127% better (I'm rounding up). Sunday morning sucked. I had the type of hangover where you aren't sure if it is a hangover until you have been in the restroom 7 times before 8 am.
And I am in the minority-the Superbowl was boring until the last 5 minutes. Even then, the shitty officiating left a bad taste in my mouth....thank god Boxing or MMA doesn't have THOSE problems
/end sarcasm.
So while it was a great weekend, now I must pay for my transgressions with a grueling day of squat work. Today, I won't go as heavy so that I don't walk the rest of the week like someone stuck their fist in my ass. I'm sorry for the visual.
I woke up on Saturday with the best of intentions- I was going to clean up, mow the lawn, then hit the gym for some light bag work. As it turned out, I sat around playing Xbox and eating hotlinks.... Saturday night was even worse. We watched GSP destroy BJ Penn then drank, ate Doritos and played Rock Band in a drunken stupor. Scientists agree that "Eye of the Tiger" is the most beautiful song ever made but when it is sang by an inebriated man it is 127% better (I'm rounding up). Sunday morning sucked. I had the type of hangover where you aren't sure if it is a hangover until you have been in the restroom 7 times before 8 am.
And I am in the minority-the Superbowl was boring until the last 5 minutes. Even then, the shitty officiating left a bad taste in my mouth....thank god Boxing or MMA doesn't have THOSE problems
/end sarcasm.
So while it was a great weekend, now I must pay for my transgressions with a grueling day of squat work. Today, I won't go as heavy so that I don't walk the rest of the week like someone stuck their fist in my ass. I'm sorry for the visual.
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