Off Hiatus, back to the gym

First off, I must apologize for being away for so long. With all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I was unable to put anything together. Truth be told, I wasn't much into these holidays at all - Since my mother passed away in May I haven't been one for celebrations. But lo and behold, my body was putting together the grandest gift of all...and on 12-22, I gave birth to a strapping & healthy Kidney Stone. When I tell you that you don't ever want to pass one of these crazy bastards, I tell no lies. Do you remember that part on "Jurassic Park" where they hear something coming from behind but don't truly believe it until the glass of water begins to shake? Well, thats kinda what it was like. It started with a small pain in my lower back, which moved to my lower abdomen, then BAM...excrutiating pain. This was no ordinary pain. It felt like someone put a rusty nail on the tip of ______ and proceeded to slam it on over a course of a few hours. The pain was slow at first-kinda like getting kicked un the junk by a midget. By the time I was pissing blood it felt like I was passing a midget-sized kidney stone. I decided it was time to hit up my friends in the ER. I received a CT scan, then was congratulated for passing the stone. Then I was told I would be admitted for Diverticulitis. What is this you ask? It's a condition where something you eat causes a microperforation of the intestine thereby anytime you use the area it feels like you have been stabbed. Earlier, I had tried to fart and noticed that it hurt going out just as bad as it smelled and figured I should just lay off of the burritos. But now I was told I had a condition that was reserved for old men & competitive hot dog eaters and would be admitted to the hospital. So from the 22nd to the 25th, I shared a room with a guy with terrible sleep apnea.
As a New Year's Resolution, I resolve to update this blog more and with more relevant fare - for instance, later this week I am going to go check out an Eddie Bravo 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu affiliate here in Riverside. I know a little bit about the Rubber Guard, but any weapon I could add to my vast arsenal of kicking, biting and hair pulling would definitely help.
See ya next time!